It's a really good thing I didn't write a blog entry last week. If I would have, I probably would have regretted what I would have written. The truth is a mission is hard…. Harder than anyone that has not served a mission will ever know. Every missionary, in every mission around the globe faces different trials and tribulations from different things. The past couple of weeks have been difficult for a laundry list of reasons, of which are irrelevant at the moment. Never the less it has been hard and left me many a night awake in my bed wondering how to fix my problems.
The answer to my sleepless nights and constant prayer didn't come right away. It didn't come to me in a pillar of light but over the course of the past week I received my answer.
The change was gradual. It all started last Wednesday morning, at the Temple of course. We had a mission wide Temple trip, which takes place every six months. The Temple is by far my favorite place on earth, even more than our own homes. It is the Lord's home and the most spiritually safe place in all the Earth. After a phenomenal time at the temple, I went on exchanges with the zone leaders and went to work covering Dixie College. I had a lot of fun that day even though I was appalled to see what real college girls wear. (Dixie sure isn't up to BYUH's dress code.) Elder Goodman is going home in a couple months so I was able to learn a lot in talking with him. More than that, I received revelation as to what I've been lacking as of late. I have been lacking the charity I so desperately need to have. The pure love of doing this work. Like Michael Jordan said, you need to have a love of the game to become great. As well as in the game of basketball missionaries need to have a love of THIS game. I realized I have become so caught up in the numbers and statistics of being a missionary I have forgotten to just teach. Numbers are important. President Leonard makes that CRYSTAL CLEAR. Even Jesus Christ taught, "...behold I know my sheep, and they are numbered." 3Nephi18:31 Numbers are important but loves is even more important. As I relearned this concept and remembered why I loved my mission so much in the beginning, a switch was flipped from within. When your attitude ceases to be negative so does the area in which you serve. I've learned that maybe I won't have 1-2 baptisms every transfer but I still can be changing peoples lives, preparing them for the next set of missionaries they meet, and of course I can still be living the dream! :)
Sometimes I forget this work is about the long term and love is found in teaching. Not in baptisms, although they are important.
As I watched General Conference this past weekend everything I was being taught by the spirit during the previous week was solidified and confirmed. I learned new skills from this General Conference. I learned doctrine in a more simplistic form so that I may become a better teacher. Who better to learn from that an Apostle or Prophet of the Lord?! I hate ranking things such as General Conference but this was one of the best ones I've ever watched. I was inspired and touched by the spirit from the talks that were given. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our beloved and humorous Prophet Thomas S. Monson is the ONLY true and living Prophet on the Earth today. His Apostles hold the authority of God, are special witnesses of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, and I know that they testify of the truthfulness of this church. I learn so much from these men!
I'm just so thankful for the opportunities I have been given to learn and grow as I preach the gospel. There is soooooo much more that happened this past week that will never reach the computer screen of all you that read this blog. I want you all to know I know my Savior lives and that I KNOW this is his church. This is HIS gospel. Life is a dream! A great dream at that! May we all live it well so that in the last day we may awake to the glory of our Father and abide in the full light of His eternal love.
Vaya Con Dios.
God is Love,